You know what I really hate? I really hate that Citroën ad. you know the one, the one where they strap the car to some impossible industrial gimp harness and then drive off. This causes the car to swing back and forth until they swing by a big red button, release the harness and speed off before security awake.

So what’s so offensive about that then I hear you ask. Well I’ll tell you what’s so offensive – the fact that it’s an impossibility, that’s what’s so offensive. And because each time I happen to catch this bloody impossible ad my brain has to tell me it’s impossible. Every bloody time I see this bloody ad my consciousness has a discourse with itself, like some frigging preacher on speakers corner, and I have no control over it. I bloody hate it. and when I see it I really want the wheels to snap off or the car to reach a point of no return and come crashing down to earth because it’ll free some of those brain cells of mine from their inevitable torture, so they can find some other nonsense to waste their time on. Like the naked lotto advert.